Tweet Funny Quotes on Twitter

A nickel ain't worth a dime anymore.
-Yogi Berra

A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice.
-Bill Cosby

Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.
-Mark Twain

I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
-Woody Allen

I don't think anyone should write their autobiography until after they're dead.
-Samuel Goldwyn

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
-Woody Allen

There is always death and taxes; however, death doesn't get worse every year.
-Unknown

The idea is to die young as late as possible.
-Ashley Montagu

Hardware: the parts of a computer that can be kicked.
-Jeff Pesis