Update your Twitter status with a Chuck Norris like joke. We've all heard Chuck Norris jokes, so why not tweet one. You can humor your friends by updating your Twitter status with a ridiculous statement like those used in Chuck Norris jokes. Below are a few examples.
(NAME)...
...doesn't read books, he just stares them down until he gets the information he wants out of them.
...doesn't sleep, he waits.
...is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
...doesn't mow his lawn, he stands outside and dares it to grow.
...can slam a revolving door.
...counted to infinity...............TWICE!!!
...can divide by zero.
...is not Politically Correct. He is just Correct. Always.
...can speak Braille.
...knows where Carmen Sandiego is.
...once won a game of Connect Four in 3 moves.
...can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
...can kill two stones with one bird.
...was once wrong, but only because he thought he had made a mistake.
Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts
7/25/09
7/11/09
Tweet Funny Twitter Updates
...enjoys talking in third person way too much.
...is updating his status to let you know his status is that he has no status.
...is getting behind early so he has plenty of time to catch up.
...is wondering why the chicken actually crossed the road. WHY?
...is eliminating, removing, and getting rid of redundancy in his life.
...that's what she said.
...is wondering why driveways are driveways and parkways are parkways when you park on a driveway and drive on a parkway.
...is wondering who Burger King's queen is.
...is wondering who Dairy Queen's king is.
...is wondering if Burger King is king and Dairy Queen is queen, who is the prince?
...is listening to the radio to see what is on tv.
...is imagining a world where green means stop and red means go.
...is playing hide and seek with Osama Bin Laden, wow he is good at this game.
...is like annoyed by like people that like use the word like like all the time when they like talk.
...is wondering if anyone has actually sailed the seven seas.
..."where are the seven seas?"
...is updating his status to let you know his status is that he has no status.
...is getting behind early so he has plenty of time to catch up.
...is wondering why the chicken actually crossed the road. WHY?
...is eliminating, removing, and getting rid of redundancy in his life.
...that's what she said.
...is wondering why driveways are driveways and parkways are parkways when you park on a driveway and drive on a parkway.
...is wondering who Burger King's queen is.
...is wondering who Dairy Queen's king is.
...is wondering if Burger King is king and Dairy Queen is queen, who is the prince?
...is listening to the radio to see what is on tv.
...is imagining a world where green means stop and red means go.
...is playing hide and seek with Osama Bin Laden, wow he is good at this game.
...is like annoyed by like people that like use the word like like all the time when they like talk.
...is wondering if anyone has actually sailed the seven seas.
..."where are the seven seas?"
Labels:
funny
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